Is Your Inner Child in Charge?

You are a smart, confident adult. You hold a good job, raise kids, have interests. People enjoy your company, and 90% of the time you feel pretty good about yourself.

But then there are some days when you suddenly become triggered by something completely innocuous. Your behavior, comments and/or reactive thought forms come as a shock to you. You might notice your triggers involve certain themes, such as fear or abandonment. Has this ever happened to you? If so, your inner child could be the key to figuring out why you experience these outbursts of emotions (and I am not talking about the good kind).

I have had a lot of experience working with my inner child, so much so, I have named her "Sari." I first became aware of her when my children were young. I was having a particularly difficult time getting them to listen to me. I was frustrated and exhausted, and in a moment of quiet, I heard a small voice inside me say something that stopped me in my tracks.

"You're the grownup. They are supposed to be listening to you! You always did what you were supposed to when you were a kid..."

I was floored by this response that flew into my consciousness. I realized that there was a younger version of myself taking over the controls of my adult brain during very triggering times. My inner child was not getting what she needed, and she was making her displeasure known — through me, the adult, who had no idea she was even there.

Since then, I have come to understand that the inner child can be the source of many difficult emotions we carry as adults: jealousy, joylessness, abandonment and more. I have worked with clients to recognize Inner Child emotions and help resolve old hurts. Talking to your inner child can even bring you to an understanding of barriers to success, such as self-sabotage and stagnation. Inner child work is a very powerful tool that can help bring peace and put the adult you back in the driver's seat of your life.