Author Archives: slm425

The Glass is Half Full


Altering my perceptions has served me very well on my road to self-healing.  Finding the upside to every situation helps me achieve greater contentment in life.  Adopting a “half-full” outlook to life is a fairly new development, going back around 10 years.  A book I read by Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, was instrumental in helping make the shift in my outlook.

I grew up in a home with a mother who was a “Pitfall Pointer-Outer.”  I learned very early that life is very hard, I should constantly worry, and there is a downside to any situation, sometimes you just need to look really, really hard to find it.  Looking back, I realized I even spoke in a crazy negative fashion.  For example, I might say “it’s not, not pleasant,” instead of just saying something was “pleasant.”  God forbid something be pleasant!

I realized that changing my outlook, my perception, was basically just stopping a bad habit.  It was actually far easier to do once I got rolling.  I still bite my nails, I still eat more Belgian chocolate pudding than I should, but changing my perception from a negative slant to a positive one was fairly easy by comparison.  I think the reason for that is that once I began finding the bright side in situations, even in situations that initially didn’t appear to have a bright side, I became a happier person.  Another benefit is that the number of negative situations that come my way has been greatly reduced.  Or at least, that’s my perception…

Sorry!!!! I am a Waver on the Open Road

Today I want to talk a little more about compassion and kindness.  My motivation for this was the following Facebook post:

“Dear driver, waving to me doesn’t make you unstupid”

I saw this comment and felt a brief sense of sadness.  The 7 “likes” for the post added to it.  Then, I found the upside; there were only 7 “likes” for this post.

I am Queen of the “wave because I accidentally drove in a manner that may have put you at risk” motion.  I do not perform this motion because I want to appear less stupid to a person I don’t even know.  I perform this motion because I acknowledge that you had the right of way, I goofed up, and I am sorry.  In my mind, I am acknowledging that you are a human being, I thank you for not plowing into me, I hope you continue on your way safely to wherever you are going and have a pleasant day, in spite of the fact that I may have scared or irritated you.

In a nutshell, I’m trying to redirect a negative situation by sending positive energy to replace it.  Chances are, the driver referenced above was trying to do the same.  Sadly, the message was not received by my friend.  I still love this friend and wish her well on her path.

Today I end by extending a challenge.  I try to brighten the days of others, and by doing so, I find I brighten my own.  I do my best to treat people with compassion and if an apology is offered, I accept it.  Do you do this?  If not, can you give it a try? You might be impressed with the results.

The number of people who cut me off without waving is fairly high.  Most people are so caught up in their busy, busy lives that the effort it seems to require to throw a wave at someone is too great.  God bless them.  But if someone actually extends their arm in some sort of human acknowledgment, I have to say, it really makes my day just a little bit better.  Thank you, Wavers on the Open Road!

PS, if it was a wave so they could break in between you and the car ahead of you, for Pete’s sake, just let him/her in.  Chances are you will be rewarded the next time you try to do the same.


My Foray into Blogging


Today is the day I start my blog.  I don’t know what has taken me so long to get it started.  It really isn’t about all the laundry I have, or errands I need to run.  Those are just excuses.  So I look deeper.  Perhaps it’s a confidence issue.  What do I possibly have to say that people might want to read?  And then it hit me.  I am not necessarily writing this for other people.  I first and foremost write for myself.  Journaling is a powerful healing tool, and I plan to take advantage of this zero-expense method of self-healing.

I’ve had a pretty great life.  Anyone who knows me may wonder, “What the ‘H’ is going on with her?  Why does she think she has a need for so much self-healing?  Her life has been a bed of roses!”  Well, maybe not that last part—we all have our “stuff” to deal with, but you get the picture.

The thing is, I give a pretty decent outward appearance, I say so somewhat modestly.  I always have.  Today, at 50 years of age, my outward appearance reflects what I feel inside fairly accurately.  I am pretty darn content with my life, I border on happy on occasion, and I laugh way more than I used to.  My family is awesome, I live in a beautiful climate, I not only know what I want to be when I grow up, I am actually doing it, and I am thankful for everything I have.

10 years ago, I looked better.  Who doesn’t look a bit better at 40 than at 50?  However, my outward appearance did not look anything like what I was feeling inside.  I felt I was dying physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  No one other than my husband, our families and close friends knew.  To everyone else, I seemed pretty ok.   I was a decent actress.

Today I end with this thought.  I try to give people the benefit of doubt.  They may be driving like total nuts.  They might be dropping kids at events and taking off, leaving their young kids unattended, even though (in my judgy opinion) it is not a good idea.  These people may look really good, and appear to be selfish.  I try not to judge.  I remember how I looked pretty ok, but was a mess inside.  I remember how apathetic I must have seemed, being the only mom who never volunteered in my kids’ classes.  I couldn’t cope.  Maybe the aggravating people I run into are having coping issues as well.  I try to give a silent blessing, wishing the people and their children safety to their destinations, and peace in their lives.  And the most interesting part of this practice is that I rarely get upset by anyone (outside the family 😉 anymore.  Compassion feels so much better than anger.

My journaling will be about whatever strikes my fancy, but it will include different ways I have found to heal.  I hope some of my experiences can help others, but acknowledging what I have gone through, honoring myself by reliving my experiences and seeing how far I’ve come, is equally important.